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Hagan's Favourite Football Songs

Sunday, 21 June 2015 13:15

Ruairi picks a few of his favourite football songs. They're all mostly terrible.

On yesterday's show (which you can listen to here) we spoke to Paul Fennessy of the42.ie about Italia 90. The last part of that interview was about the songs that were inspired by Ireland's participation in it. Of course, Put Em Under Pressure is a classic - 

The way Big Jack really goes for it in the delivery of "we'll put em under pressure" - genius.

Of course, Dearg Doom by the Horslips was a stone cold classic anyway, but adding Big Jack's "it's about being effective, getting on with the play" shtick and a chorus so addictive you're going to be singing it to yourself on your deathbed made Put Em Under Pressure THE football song. It'll never be topped. Ever.

Here's Dearg Doom for your listening pleasure.

It got me thinking about some of the other football songs that have infected my brain down through the years. The ones that are so bad they're good, and the ones that are so bad the phrase "utter shite" doesn't even begin to describe them.

Football songs seem to have died a death in recent years. "Thankfully", a lot of you might say. But they had their own charm. These are a few of my favourites. It's not a definitive list by any means. It's not a "Top Ten Shite Football Songs" list. It's football songs I remember, that have a certain place in my heart. Or they're songs that are so shite I can never forget them.

Penney's Winning Team - The Team That Jack Built

The song I remember most from Italia 90 isn't Put Em Under Pressure, it's the Team That Jack Built. From what I can remember, it was sold exclusively in Penney's. My Mum would have bought it for me I would think. It sounds like it cost about a fiver to record, but it's got a certain charm about it. Unfortunately, there is literally feck all information on it online. I can't even find a picture of it. If you have a copy, get in touch, I'd love to see it again. I can't find it on YouTube either - all I could find was this - Larry Gogan's Chart Countdown from 1990 (it's the first song in the video).

Good times.

**UPDATE** Our colleagues at Radio Kerry tweeted us the cover of the single. Amazing scenes!

 

 

Manchester United and Status Quo - Come On You Reds

Christ, this is terrible. And I bought it on cassette. Twice. Seriously. I lost the first copy I had so I bought it again. Released in 1994 and based on the Quo's "Burning Bridges", it's worth it for the video alone, where awkward looking United players mumble out the words while looking at their shoes, clearly embarrassed. The video quality here is terrible, so apologies for that, but it's worth it for a mortified looking Roy Keane, and Denis Irwin sporting his best "what the f**k have I gotten myself into" face

Schmeichel, Parker Pallister,
Irwin Bruce Sharpe and Ince, 
Hughes McClair Keane and Cantona, 
Robson Kanchelskis and Giggs!

Come on you Reds, come on you Reds, 
Let's Kick the ball and use the heads,
For 90 minutes we'll let them know,
It's Man United here we go.
GLORY GLORY MAN UNIIIIIIITED

Lyrics Leonard Cohen would be proud of.

 

The Manchester United Squad Featuring Stryker - We're Gonna Do It Again

If you thought it couldn't get much worse than Come on You Reds, you'd be wrong. This is beyond terrible. Released for the 1995 FA Cup final, it was so bad that Everton took particular offence to it, upped their game accordingly, and beat United 1-0 in Wembley. 

And yes, I bought it. 

Manchester United F.C. - Move Move Move (Red Tribe)

 

By now you're probably noticing a pattern. Yes, young Hagan was a massive Manchester United fan. Also, young Hagan bought the shite FA Cup songs they released. By now though I was 13 and should have had more cop on - alas, I didn't. This isn't as bad as We're Gonna Do It Again, but it's still pretty terrible. It was released for the 1996 FA Cup Final, a game which contained this moment of magic from a genius - still one of my all time favourite sporting moments.

The Lightning Seeds featuring David Baddiel and Frank Skinner - Three Lions

Come on, admit it. You love this song. I know I do.

Interesting fact - when it was re-released for the 1998 World Cup, it knocked C'est la Vie by B*Witched off the top spot in the UK Charts. 

And that's another out and out anthem.

Liverpool FC - The Anfield Rap

Because no article about football songs would be complete without it.

Liverpool FC is hard as hell. Quite.

SUPERAMAZINGBONUS - Sultans of Ping FC - Give Him a Ball And a Yard of Grass

Not really a "football song" in the strictest sense (not by a football team, not about a football team, it's actually a decent song etc), but it's my list so blah. Three minutes of pop punk perfection. Written about Nigel Clough. And what about NOF's jacket in this video? Amazing.

So there you have it. Some of the football songs that made an indelible mark in young Hagan's memory. I may do a second piece with more - let us know your suggestions.

Interestingly, Ashley Keating, drummer for the Frank and Walters (and presenter of Green on Red here on Cork's RedFM on Sundays) and I were chatting about this very topic of football songs yesterday, and how they'd gone out of fashion. 

"We actually wrote a football song about Diego Maradona. We never recorded it though. Probably a bit late now to do it now."

Back the truck up. The best band in the world writing a song about the one of the game's best ever players? It must be heard. It must be done. 

Ashley, if you're reading this DO IT.

God knows we could do with a good football song.

 

 

 

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